Overview
Awake: A Memoir is a deeply personal and provocative book from New York Times bestselling author and beloved podcaster Jen Hatmaker, told in raw, real-time vignettes as a story of upheaval, reinvention, and the unexpected freedom found in starting over. In candid, surprisingly funny vignettes spanning forty years of girlhood, marriage, and parenting, Jen lays bare the disorienting upheaval of midlifeâthe implosion of a marriage, the unraveling of religious and cultural systems, and the grief that accompanies change you didn’t ask for.
This brutally honest, funny, and revealing memoir chronicles the traumatic end of her twenty-six-year-long marriage and the beginning of a different kind of love story. More than one woman’s story, Awake is a critical analysis of the story given to all of us: the story of gender limitations, religious subservience, body shame, and self-erasure. Released in September 2025, the book represents Hatmaker’s most vulnerable and courageous work to date.
Key Takeaways
| Aspect | Details |
|---|---|
| Genre | Memoir / Personal Development / Women’s Studies |
| Publication Date | September 23, 2025 |
| Publisher | Simon & Schuster |
| Page Count | Approximately 320 pages |
| Core Story | The end of a 26-year marriage and the journey to self-discovery in midlife |
| Narrative Style | Vignettes alternating between present-day and flashbacks across 40 years |
| Tone | Brutally honest, surprisingly funny, raw, and hopeful |
| Central Themes | Divorce, deconstruction, midlife awakening, gender roles, religious evolution |
Book Structure
Opening: The Unraveling
- Sets the stage for the marriage’s end after 26 years
- Introduces the concept of “waking up” to reality after years of conforming
- Establishes the raw, honest tone that carries throughout
Part One: The Girl (Childhood and Formation)
- Vignettes from girlhood and early formation
- The messages absorbed about being female in conservative Christian culture
- Early dreams, personality, and the beginning of self-erasure
- Family dynamics and religious upbringing
Part Two: The Wife (Marriage Years)
- Meeting her husband and falling in love
- Building a ministry and public platform together
- The demands of evangelical womanhood: submission, support, secondary status
- Motherhood, adoption, and raising five children
- The growing disconnect between her evolving beliefs and her marriage
- Public controversies and the beginning of deconstruction
Part Three: The Breaking (Crisis and Divorce)
- The marriage’s implosion and the traumatic divorce process
- Navigating public scrutiny while privately devastated
- The grief that accompanies unwanted change
- Protecting her children through upheaval
- Losing community and finding out who truly shows up
Part Four: The Awakening (Reconstruction)
- Discovering herself outside of roles defined by others
- Dating, new relationship, and different kind of love
- Reclaiming her body, sexuality, and autonomy
- Building a life based on authenticity rather than expectations
- New relationships with her adult children
- Spiritual evolution and finding God outside organized religion
Conclusion: Wide Awake
- Reflections on the journey from who she was told to be to who she actually is
- The unexpected freedom of starting over in midlife
- Hope for women navigating their own awakenings
- Permission to choose yourself
Structure Style: The memoir alternates between present-day reflections and flashback vignettes, creating a mosaic rather than linear narrative. This structure mirrors the way memory and healing actually workânon-linear, circling back, making connections across time.
About the Author
Jen Hatmaker is a New York Times bestselling author, popular podcast host, and speaker who spent two decades as a prominent figure in evangelical Christianity before her very public evolution and eventual exit from that world.
She is the author of multiple books including For the Love, Of Mess and Moxie, and Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire. Her podcast For the Love has millions of downloads and features conversations with authors, activists, thought leaders, and cultural changemakers.
Hatmaker first gained national attention through her books and speaking at women’s conferences within evangelical circles. She and her then-husband Brandon planted a church in Austin, Texas, and were known for their adoption story (they adopted three children from Ethiopia) and social justice advocacy.
Her trajectory changed significantly in 2016 when she publicly affirmed LGBTQ+ relationships and marriage equality, leading to her books being pulled from Christian bookstores and her removal from speaking circuits. This marked the beginning of her public deconstruction from evangelical Christianity.
In 2020, after 26 years of marriage, she and Brandon divorced. Since then, she has been open about her journey of healing, her evolving faith, and her new relationship with a woman. She continues to host her podcast, write, and cultivate a community of women navigating faith shifts, life transitions, and personal awakenings.
Hatmaker is a mother of five (two biological, three adopted) and lives in Austin, Texas. She is known for her humor, authenticity, and ability to articulate experiences that many women feel but struggle to voice.
Why This Book Resonates
Permission to Tell the Truth: In a culture that pressures womenâespecially Christian womenâto present perfect marriages and unwavering faith, Hatmaker’s brutal honesty gives readers permission to acknowledge their own realities.
Midlife Representation: The book centers a woman in her late 40s/early 50s who doesn’t have it all figured out, who is starting over, who is discovering herself for the first time. This representation is rare and desperately needed.
Religious Deconstruction: For the millions of people leaving or questioning evangelical Christianity, Hatmaker articulates the grief, confusion, and eventual liberation that comes with deconstructing belief systems.
The Gender Conversation: The memoir doesn’t just tell one woman’s storyâit critiques the entire system that tells women who they should be, from purity culture to complementarianism to body shame.
Unexpected Freedom: Rather than ending in tragedy, the divorce becomes a doorway to authenticity. The book reframes “starting over” as opportunity rather than failure.
Humor Through Pain: Hatmaker’s ability to find humor even in devastating circumstances makes the heavy material accessible and relatable rather than purely tragic.
Community and Sisterhood: The book celebrates the women who showed up, who stayed, who witnessed her lifeâmodeling the kind of friendship that sustains us through crisis.
Nuanced Faith Evolution: Rather than simply rejecting faith, Hatmaker describes a spiritual journey that honors what was while embracing what is, offering a roadmap for others in transition.
Ideal Audience
- Women Navigating Divorce – especially those ending long-term marriages in midlife
- Anyone Deconstructing Religious Beliefs – particularly those from evangelical/fundamentalist backgrounds
- People Questioning Gender Roles – examining what they were taught about being female
- Readers Going Through Midlife Transitions – career changes, empty nest, identity shifts
- Fans of Jen Hatmaker – longtime followers ready for her most vulnerable work
- Anyone Feeling “Stuck” in Their Life – wondering if it’s possible to start over
- Women Reclaiming Their Bodies and Sexuality – after years of shame or suppression
- LGBTQ+ Individuals and Allies – especially those navigating faith and sexuality
- Book Clubs Seeking Meaningful Discussion – rich themes for group conversation
- Readers Who Loved Glennon Doyle’s Untamed or Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love
- Adult Children of Religious Parents – understanding their parents’ journeys
- Therapists and Counselors – working with clients navigating similar transitions
- Anyone Seeking Permission – to be themselves, tell the truth, choose differently
Memorable Quote
“I am still finding God, just not where I think he used to live.”
This quote captures the spiritual evolution at the heart of the memoirâHatmaker hasn’t abandoned faith, but she’s discovered that the God she was taught about in evangelical spaces isn’t the God she experiences now. It speaks to the journey of many who leave organized religion but maintain spiritual connection.
Central Themes
| Theme | Exploration in the Memoir |
|---|---|
| Awakening to Authenticity | The central metaphor of “waking up” after living asleep to her own desires, needs, and identityâdiscovering who she actually is versus who she was told to be |
| The Cost of Conformity | Examining what it costs women to conform to evangelical gender roles: submission, self-erasure, silencing intuition, and performing “good wife” and “good Christian” |
| Grief and Loss | Honoring the genuine grief of losing a 26-year marriage, religious community, identity, and the future she plannedârefusing toxic positivity while also embracing hope |
| Deconstruction and Reconstruction | The painful process of dismantling belief systems while building new frameworks for meaning, spirituality, and values outside institutional religion |
| Body Autonomy and Sexuality | Reclaiming her body after years of purity culture, modesty teachings, and using her body primarily for othersâdiscovering pleasure, desire, and ownership |
| Midlife as Beginning | Reframing the traditional narrative of midlife as decline, instead presenting it as awakening, possibility, and the courage to choose differently |
| Mother-Daughter Dynamics | Exploring how gender limitations and religious expectations pass from mothers to daughters, and the work of breaking those cycles |
| Public Persona vs. Private Reality | The gap between the “perfect” Christian marriage presented publicly and the private struggles, and the liberation of truth-telling |
| Friendship as Lifeline | The critical role of female friendship in surviving crisisâwho shows up, who stays, and the power of being witnessed in our struggles |
| Systems Critique | Beyond personal story, analyzing the patriarchal and religious systems that create these conditions for countless women |
What Makes This Memoir Different
No Neat Resolution: Unlike memoirs that tie everything up with a bow, Awake honors the messiness of ongoing transformation. Hatmaker doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out.
Surprising Humor: Even in discussing divorce and deconstruction, Hatmaker’s voice is funny, irreverent, and self-deprecating. The book isn’t heavy despite heavy content.
Protective but Honest: Hatmaker manages to tell her truth without unnecessarily exposing others, especially her ex-husband and children. She doesn’t weaponize her platform.
Systemic Analysis: This isn’t just “my marriage ended”âit’s “here’s why evangelical womanhood set me up for this.” The personal is political without being preachy.
Sensory and Specific: Rather than abstract reflection, Hatmaker grounds the story in specific moments, conversations, and sensory details that make it vivid and immediate.
Midlife Sexuality: Rare and refreshingâHatmaker talks openly about discovering sexual pleasure and agency in her 50s, breaking taboos around older women and desire.
Faith Complexity: She doesn’t bash Christianity wholesale but offers nuanced critique of specific systems while maintaining spiritual curiosity and practice.
Key Moments in the Memoir
While avoiding spoilers that would diminish first-time reading, several significant moments shape the narrative:
- The moment she realizes her marriage is over
- Early memories of absorbing messages about female submission
- Public controversies that began her deconstruction
- Conversations with her children about the divorce
- First experiences of dating after divorce
- Encounters with former religious community members
- Moments of discovering new aspects of herself
- The role of therapy in her healing
- New relationship and what different love looks like
- Conversations with her mother about their different choices
Critical Reception
Awake was reviewed in The New York Times, which called it “lucent and nervy,” describing it as a memoir about far more than divorceâaddressing faith, bodies, and new beginnings.
Reception Highlights:
- New York Times Bestseller immediately upon release
- Sold-out book tour events across the country
- Featured in major publications including People Magazine
- Strong reviews emphasizing honesty and relatability
- Resonated particularly with women navigating their own midlife transitions
- Praise for balancing vulnerability with protection of others’ privacy
- Recognition for articulating experiences many feel but struggle to voice
Endorsements from notable figures including:
- Mel Robbins: “I can’t imagine any woman reading this without feeling seen, inspired, and totally empowered.”
- Lori Gottlieb: “Reading Awake is like being offered a lifeline when you’ve drifted too far out to sea.”
- Glennon Doyle, Elizabeth Gilbert, and other prominent women authors
Companion Elements
For the Love Podcast: Hatmaker’s podcast has featured episodes discussing themes from the book and conversations with other women navigating similar journeys.
Book Club Community: Hatmaker has cultivated a book club community where members discuss not just her books but their own stories of awakening.
Social Media Presence: Instagram and other platforms where she continues sharing her journey and creating community.
Speaking Events: Book tour events featuring conversations with other authors and thought leaders about the themes in Awake.
FAQ
Q: Is this a “divorce book”? A: While divorce is central to the story, the book is really about awakening to your authentic self. Many readers in intact marriages relate to the themes of conformity, gender roles, and self-discovery.
Q: Do I need to be familiar with evangelical Christianity to understand it? A: No. While the book provides context for that specific culture, the themes of gender expectations, religious authority, and finding yourself are universal.
Q: Is this anti-Christian? A: No. It’s critical of specific systems within evangelical Christianity, but Hatmaker maintains a spiritual practice and isn’t hostile toward faith itselfâjust certain expressions of it.
Q: Will this make me sad? A: There are sad parts, but the overall arc is hopeful. Hatmaker’s humor and the ultimate freedom she finds balance the grief.
Q: Does she talk about her current relationship? A: Yes, though thoughtfully. She discusses finding a different kind of love and what healthy partnership looks like for her now.
Q: Is this appropriate for younger readers? A: The book discusses adult themes including sexuality, so it’s best suited for adults. However, mature teens navigating their own questions might find it valuable.
Q: What if I’m not going through divorce or deconstruction? A: The themes of authenticity, awakening, and questioning what you’ve been told apply to anyone feeling stuck or curious about living more truthfully.
Discussion Questions for Book Clubs
- What does “awakening” mean in the context of this memoir? Have you experienced your own awakenings?
- How does Hatmaker critique gender roles within religious contexts? Do these critiques extend beyond religion?
- Discuss the role of friendship in the book. Who “showed up” for Jen, and what does that teach us about our own friendships?
- What do you make of Hatmaker’s evolving faith? Is it possible to maintain spirituality outside institutional religion?
- How does the book handle the topic of divorce differently than typical narratives?
- What messages about bodies, sexuality, and femininity does Hatmaker describe absorbing? Do you relate?
- Discuss the mother-daughter themes. How do patterns pass through generations, and how are they broken?
- What does the book suggest about midlife as a phase of life? Does it challenge or confirm your views?
- How does Hatmaker balance honesty with protecting others’ privacy? Is this balance effective?
- What surprised you most about this memoir?
Final Thoughts
Awake is not just Jen Hatmaker’s storyâit’s the story of countless women who have shaped themselves to fit systems, marriages, and expectations that required them to be smaller, quieter, and less themselves. What makes this memoir extraordinary is Hatmaker’s refusal to present her awakening as simple or clean. She honors the real grief of losing a marriage, community, and identity while also celebrating the unexpected freedom of starting over.
The book’s greatest gift may be permission. Permission to tell the truth about your marriage, your faith, your body, your desires. Permission to question what you were taught. Permission to choose differently, even after decades of choosing one way. Permission to start over in midlife, when culture tells us our most interesting chapters are behind us.
Hatmaker writes with the voice of a friend who’s already walked through the fire and can tell you that yes, it hurts terribly, but you can survive itâand not just survive, but discover parts of yourself you didn’t know existed. Her humor keeps the book from becoming maudlin, her honesty makes it trustworthy, and her hope makes it transformative.
For women in midlife crisis, this book is a companion. For people deconstructing religious systems, it’s a roadmap. For anyone feeling trapped by expectations, it’s an invitation. And for those who love someone going through similar transitions, it’s a window into their experience.
Awake doesn’t promise easy answers or quick fixes. Instead, it offers something more valuable: the truth that you can break and not be broken, that you can lose everything familiar and discover that what remains is actually more real, more you. It’s a memoir about the courage required to live authentically, the grief involved in that choice, and the unexpected joy waiting on the other side of awakening.
Rating Snapshot: ââââ½ (4.5/5)
- Honesty: 5/5 – Brutally honest without being exploitative
- Writing Quality: 4.5/5 – Conversational yet literary, funny and profound
- Relatability: 5/5 – Speaks to universal experiences through specific story
- Courage: 5/5 – Remarkable vulnerability in sharing ongoing journey
- Structure: 4/5 – Non-linear vignettes work well, though occasionally jarring
- Impact: 5/5 – Life-changing for readers navigating similar terrain
Content Considerations
Mature Themes: The book discusses:
- Divorce and marital breakdown
- Sexuality and physical intimacy
- Religious trauma and deconstruction
- Mental health and therapy
- Body image and shame
- LGBTQ+ relationships
- Family conflict
Triggering Content: May be difficult for readers who:
- Are in vulnerable marriages
- Are deeply embedded in evangelical culture
- Have experienced religious trauma
- Are navigating their own divorces
- Struggle with body image issues
Why Read It Anyway: Despite difficult content, the book is ultimately hopeful and offers companionship for hard journeys rather than triggering for its own sake.
Links
Author’s Website: jenhatmaker.com
Book Page: jenhatmaker.com/awake
Podcast: For the Love Podcast
Social Media:
- Instagram: @jenhatmaker
- Facebook: Jen Hatmaker
